I knew he had an anger problem all his life after a head injury from a motorcycle accident when he was young.
He told me about this anger management issue on our very first date. But once the 3 girls came into our home, I do believe the stress on him caused the anger problems to arise.
I remember telling her exactly "My plate is overflowing and I can't take one more thing." She begged and promised that she would help me take care of the girls, babysit, help with the housework, all of this but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me move back home..."Mommy". I remember having a bad feeling in my stomach that this would not work out. At the end of the story, the very things she promised to do because I was so overwhelmed to help me, became the things she resented. My nieces paternal grandmother (who wanted nothing to do with them when Mom died and they needed a place to go) criticized me constantly to the girls which caused them to behave disrespectfully to me at times and belligerent to each other.
To her credit, she did keep her promise and babysit for me. But mostly I just needed some time to get away from the stress-filled misery that was my life by this time. So they started fighting for the first time between themselves.
My daughter carried through with her promise and I got some much needed "escape" on occasional weekends because she babysat for me.
She helped with cleaning the house and there was always a ton of housework. She wanted to be in the same bedroom with them and she was by now, in her early twenties and they, much younger, were influenced by her smoking in their bedroom, cursing and cynical, critical attitude.
She had become very bossy of the girls as if she owned my house, owned me and owned them. I think it is interesting that I can't really remember the details of this incident.
My little girl with her long brown hair, came running to me with flowers she had (illegally) picked at school.
Sometimes when I grieve for her and cry for her, I vivid memory come to me--- a day I was sitting out in the backyard and the school bus dropped her off in front of the house.
I started having financial problems trying to raise them on a teacher's salary.
My daughter, now a young adult, had moved out and gotten hooked up with a boyfriend involved with drugs.